Finals Week and Civil Disobedience

It's finals week here at Northwestern, mostly because this school was founded by Methodists. And as we all know Methodists often practice cruel, sadist torture on the 18 to 24 age demographic.

What's that you say? Methodists are simply harmless Protestant worshipers? I'm just bitter because I'm in the library trying to figure out what a study carrel is while my Pac Sun-wearing, state school -attending high school friends post Facebook albums named "sexi summer timez 2O12".

I don't care. I refuse to study for this English exam I have tomorrow. English is a dumb major for girls who ride hipster bicycles and wear Tory Burch to get on style blogs, all while under the pretense of attending law school later on (they usually just marry political science majors who actually attend law school).

I'm desperately waiting for the professional pictures to be sent out from my sorority's spring formal. If wanting to see artsy photographs of your friends enjoying a classic dance floor make-out is wrong, I don't want to be right. In this stressful time, I need something, I need a slideshow of inebriated barefoot dancing to bring meaning back to my life.

So I've taken a page from Ghandi and MLK, because this issue is just as pressing as civil rights. I refuse to study until my pictures are delivered to my email inbox. If this backfires, so be it. At least I took a stand, I gave a voice to the voiceless. Give me pictures of me dougie-ing alone in a corner holding two Long Islands , or give me death.