Adulthood is for Tools

Recently my best from high school turned 20. Right around the same time, my Artist Barbie roommate turned 21. I , of course, took these two events and made them all about me with a casual mental breakdown.

Twenty. Twenty-one. My friends are getting old. I am getting old. I will turn 20 this year. I literally don't own a pair of matching socks. I sleep exclusively in Star Wars pajamas. I'm screwed.

When I was 8 and walked around family parties rocking butterfly clips and jelly shoes, I was often introduced to older people. I still remember meeting certain people and learning their ages. If my mom told me someone was 20, I considered them an adult. They had serious relationships, body hair, and knew what the hell a 401K was.

That will be me in March. Will my family suddenly start expecting to bring someone home for Christmas? Will I need to learn how to actually write a check without calling my mom? If the answer to either of these questions is "yes", I'm about to be the worst adult ever.

Will I feel any different? Will I have to live by a new set of rules? Is going out on a Monday unacceptable when you actually turn 21?

All though these questions are a true mystery for me, I can pretty much guarantee I can not do certain things once I enter my 20s.

20. I can no longer tell my mother ," Shut up, Phineas and Ferb is on"

19. I can no longer walk around my hometown in my high school cheerleading t-shirts and Ugg boots without a stitch of makeup.

18. I probably should stop describing myself as being "knee deep in a bottle of Skol".

17.  I will need to learn how to operate a stove without destroying myself and everything I love.

16.  I can no longer cancel all my plans because of a Rizzoli and Isles marathon.

15. I can no longer describe the aforementioned Rizzoli and Isles marathon as " my best day of 2012"

14. I should stop getting rides to places/events by promising to make- out with the driver.

13. I really need to learn how to successfully deal with emotions, in ways that aren't watching "Tangled" alone and fighting back tears.

12. I need to stop caring so much about my high school's homecoming court. That is irrelevant to normal adults.

11. I need to stop telling people I've been to Disney World over 15 times.

10. I need to stop begging my parents to take me to Disney World.

9. I should learn how to use an ATM without experiencing a very small (but oh so real) panic attack.

8. I should figure out how health insurance works. Do I have it?

7. My birthday can no longer be a week long festival. It is a singular day. 

6.  I should stop making lists and/or charts to determine the perfect Halloween costume.

5. My latest Google searches can no longer include "giant tiara store" or "Phantom of the Megaplex"

4. I need to learn other ways to deal with speeding tickets besides crying/ telling the cop my boyfriend's dad is the state's attorney.

3. I should buy a thermometer without a cow on it that doesn't  moo when it reads your temperature.

2. I need to stop getting so excited about McDonald's. 

1. I really need to figure out how to operate a DVD player.