Adulthood is for Tools

Recently my best from high school turned 20. Right around the same time, my Artist Barbie roommate turned 21. I , of course, took these two events and made them all about me with a casual mental breakdown.

Twenty. Twenty-one. My friends are getting old. I am getting old. I will turn 20 this year. I literally don't own a pair of matching socks. I sleep exclusively in Star Wars pajamas. I'm screwed.

When I was 8 and walked around family parties rocking butterfly clips and jelly shoes, I was often introduced to older people. I still remember meeting certain people and learning their ages. If my mom told me someone was 20, I considered them an adult. They had serious relationships, body hair, and knew what the hell a 401K was.

That will be me in March. Will my family suddenly start expecting to bring someone home for Christmas? Will I need to learn how to actually write a check without calling my mom? If the answer to either of these questions is "yes", I'm about to be the worst adult ever.

Will I feel any different? Will I have to live by a new set of rules? Is going out on a Monday unacceptable when you actually turn 21?

All though these questions are a true mystery for me, I can pretty much guarantee I can not do certain things once I enter my 20s.

20. I can no longer tell my mother ," Shut up, Phineas and Ferb is on"

19. I can no longer walk around my hometown in my high school cheerleading t-shirts and Ugg boots without a stitch of makeup.

18. I probably should stop describing myself as being "knee deep in a bottle of Skol".

17.  I will need to learn how to operate a stove without destroying myself and everything I love.

16.  I can no longer cancel all my plans because of a Rizzoli and Isles marathon.

15. I can no longer describe the aforementioned Rizzoli and Isles marathon as " my best day of 2012"

14. I should stop getting rides to places/events by promising to make- out with the driver.

13. I really need to learn how to successfully deal with emotions, in ways that aren't watching "Tangled" alone and fighting back tears.

12. I need to stop caring so much about my high school's homecoming court. That is irrelevant to normal adults.

11. I need to stop telling people I've been to Disney World over 15 times.

10. I need to stop begging my parents to take me to Disney World.

9. I should learn how to use an ATM without experiencing a very small (but oh so real) panic attack.

8. I should figure out how health insurance works. Do I have it?

7. My birthday can no longer be a week long festival. It is a singular day. 

6.  I should stop making lists and/or charts to determine the perfect Halloween costume.

5. My latest Google searches can no longer include "giant tiara store" or "Phantom of the Megaplex"

4. I need to learn other ways to deal with speeding tickets besides crying/ telling the cop my boyfriend's dad is the state's attorney.

3. I should buy a thermometer without a cow on it that doesn't  moo when it reads your temperature.

2. I need to stop getting so excited about McDonald's. 

1. I really need to figure out how to operate a DVD player.

Current State of the Union

That's right, it's time to get all Massie Block up in this bitch. Gonna go put on some Glossip Girl to bring out the amber flecks in my brown eyes.

In
Under Armour
KIND Fruit and Nut Bars
Bobb McCulloch
Snapchat
Mustard's Last Stand for lunch
Hair Spray
Russian Lit 
Internet Cat Video Festival


Out
Adidas
Nutella and bread
Swanky downtown apartments 
Sexting
Ralph Lauren for lunch
Edge Tamer
Journalism in any form
Watching cat videos alone