Thursday, December 27, 2012

A Very Nugget Christmas

A very merry collection of Christmas quotes/ pearls of wisdom from my pre-pubecent cousins. I recorded these while fighting suicidal thoughts and playing Hello Kitty makeover.


Me: " Nice suit, you look so dapper."
Jesse: "I'm not Dasher! I'm Prancer! Prancer!"

Jesse: "A headband is a game, it's called headband."
Me: " Is this a real game?"
Jesse: "It's a real game. I mean, I'm making it up, but it's real now." 


"The point of this suit is to always be prepared. To always be prepared with pretzel sticks and cool moves." - Jamie

[Regarding a Christmas Eve play that we are both being forced to do] "I'm seven and I have better things to do, aren't you like 20??? You should have, like, a real job." - Jamie 

[Upon opening an iPod case before receiving an iPod] "If I don't get an iPod pretty soon, this is going to be really dumb." - Cale

"Now that I have my iPod, I'm going to get my own app. I'm going to make all my own apps so I can save my iTunes gift card money." -Cale

"This game is called 'Fat Princesses'.  There's a curse in the forest and it made all the princesses fat and I, the knight, have to save them. Which doesn't make any sense, because why do I want to marry a fat princess???" -Cale

^Landon is still actively choosing not to speak,  so I took a quote from his dad instead.

"He makes me never want to have sex again. This thing is the consequence of sex. Don't make the mistakes I did.  Sometimes he drools in my mouth, and I want to vomit." - Uncle Chad

"The true meaning of Christmas is when Santa comes and brings me swim goggles. And when he brings Kathen nothing." -Ella

"You see the big box! Someone got Emma a boyfriend for Christmas!" -Ella


And finally...


" I didn't get coal from Santa.  Santa doesn't even watches me. I got a Tinkerbell umbrella instead." -Kathen

"Mirror Mirror on Emma's wall, who's the fairest of them all?" 
[Puts her ear up to my vanity mirror] 
"It's me! It's me because I'm wearing a Christmas dress and you're in an ugly sweater." - Kathen

"I have two boyfriends, Grant and Brandon. But only Brandon knows I'm his girlfriend. I didn't tell Grant yet."- Kathen

"You're the ugliest grandkid Emma." - Kathen